Covert Verbal Abuse

Is someone telling you how you should think, feel, or act?

Covert verbal abuse is a technique that others use to exert power and control over you by trying to define your reality. This happens when derogatory remarks go undetected. You may feel a bit slighted, but the comment wasn’t “important” enough to take issue with as it seemed benign, at the time.

Is there someone in your life who acts as if they know you better than you know yourself? Maybe you hear comments like these…
    • “You’ve always been too sensitive.”
    • “You were never able to handle the truth.”
    • “If you cared about me, you should have said ______. Or, should have done ______.”

If there is a “should” in the statement or it’s negative and not constructive on a regular basis, beware.

Take a minute today. Think of a relationship that is draining your energy or making you mad or sad. Is that person telling you who you are and what you should say, do, think and feel? Those who practice covert verbal abuse want to define your reality so they can control your reality.

Re-evaluate toxic relationships and decide what the cost of keeping a covert verbal abuser (or any abuser) in your life will be for you. I hope you choose to love yourself and walk away.


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